Safety boy. Safety guard boy.
You're accident-prone, you get sick easily, you just need a cushion to lean on.
You fall off the bike when you ride; you get hit for no reason when you drive; you can't even walk across the street without tripping; If you can't walk and pay attention to your surrounding at the same time, you'll need our Safety Guard Boy. He will pull you out of your miseries and turn you accident - free!